Daddy Thoughts 13- Armor & Loops
It’s
hard to predict the level of protectiveness I would feel as a parent before
this child was here. Actually it is hard to imagine the level of protectiveness
I’ll feel with each developmental change. I think one of the things that amazed
me so much when I became a dad was the level of fragility I felt. I wanted to
shield and protect. I realized there was so much destructiveness in this
world.
hard to predict the level of protectiveness I would feel as a parent before
this child was here. Actually it is hard to imagine the level of protectiveness
I’ll feel with each developmental change. I think one of the things that amazed
me so much when I became a dad was the level of fragility I felt. I wanted to
shield and protect. I realized there was so much destructiveness in this
world.
Kids
are vulnerable to a lot with or without a guardian. Some of the danger we can
control like a broken glass bottle in their path, or skipping a film you know
is R rated. But some experiences
we can’t even see. Humiliation, betrayal, or hurt feelings; how do you prepare
a kid for that? I mean, you can prep them. Give them a pep talk. But there really
is no way to learn how to cope with tough issues until you face them. So, many
times recently because of a change in my co-parenting plan (involving him
living away from me) I have felt an ever growing urge to arm my son. I mean physically
and mentally arm him. Like Neo in the Matrix! I wish I could download kung fu,
conflict resolution, or cooking lessons on fried rice.
are vulnerable to a lot with or without a guardian. Some of the danger we can
control like a broken glass bottle in their path, or skipping a film you know
is R rated. But some experiences
we can’t even see. Humiliation, betrayal, or hurt feelings; how do you prepare
a kid for that? I mean, you can prep them. Give them a pep talk. But there really
is no way to learn how to cope with tough issues until you face them. So, many
times recently because of a change in my co-parenting plan (involving him
living away from me) I have felt an ever growing urge to arm my son. I mean physically
and mentally arm him. Like Neo in the Matrix! I wish I could download kung fu,
conflict resolution, or cooking lessons on fried rice.
I
think of putting all the necessary items in his backpack before he embarks on a
journey. And yet I can’t. I can prepare him a little, but I can’t give him armor
so that the harsh blows of reality wont stun him too much. As a guardian or
parent, have you ever felt this way? Like you’re not giving a child enough to
equip them for this thing called life? What is something you wish your parents
had given you?
think of putting all the necessary items in his backpack before he embarks on a
journey. And yet I can’t. I can prepare him a little, but I can’t give him armor
so that the harsh blows of reality wont stun him too much. As a guardian or
parent, have you ever felt this way? Like you’re not giving a child enough to
equip them for this thing called life? What is something you wish your parents
had given you?
At
least I can say I started the downloading of martial arts. I enrolled him in a
kung fu class and as evil as it sounds, I can’t wait til’ he starts sparring
and gets whacked, and hits back in a safe environment.
least I can say I started the downloading of martial arts. I enrolled him in a
kung fu class and as evil as it sounds, I can’t wait til’ he starts sparring
and gets whacked, and hits back in a safe environment.
Side note: Lately this child has been a human tape recorder, pausing and
replaying things. Rewinding and repeating phrases and sounds. From old vine and
You-Tube videos, commercials, to black musicians’ declarations appropriated by
the internet. He’ll say the same phrase over and over again until I have to say
in Spanish “stop”, ”no more”, “enough”! Lord knows I hate to crush the boy’s creativity
but sometimes I need quiet. Strangely enough when they leave you, you find
yourself saying the very things that annoyed you or longing for their voice.